Counting My Blessings

When you worry and you can't sleep...just count your blessings instead of sheep...

Yup folks, it's that time again! Thankful Thursday!!!

I'm thankful for open doors and second chances this week.  That's basically the theme of the week.  I know that only sounds like two things...but it's really a lot and I will fall asleep counting many blessings tonight!

One Sweet Love

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...and I just want to throw it all out there.  Thinking mostly about relationships, love, and life, as I am at that age where well...the clock's ticking, and patience becomes more and more difficult as Carrie Underwood says so beautifully, "The more guys I meet, the more I love my dog."  Some people may think my standards are too high, or that I'm just too picky...but I mean really, in the search for a LIFE mate...I don't think one can be too picky.  And also, is it really too much to ask for a man who has his life together, who wants marriage and a family, and who values the same things I do?  And then Sara Bareilles makes me wonder, "have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?"

The thought absolutely kills me!  Yet it seems to be the theme in my thought world these days.  A few weeks ago mom brought up an ex of mine who had tried to reconnect with me...mom says she misses him, and was pressing me about him and why I won't give him a second chance...and then I get this spiel about how I'm wasting my energy on such high expectations and I'm never going to find mr. perfect.  Of all the people in the world...my own mother thinks my standards are too high?!?!?!  So then that had me doubting myself and most of my relational decisions.  Fortunately I definitely concluded that I was content with my decision to cut ties with that particular person...deal with it mom.  On the other hand, I find myself wondering these days about someone who I have no idea if I will ever meet again, and yet I know if I never do see this person again, I will ALWAYS wonder for the rest of my life what could have been, and I know that even if I meet someone else...I will always wonder about this one.  That's such an overwhelming thought, but it's what I live with currently.  As this thought circulates and stews in my mind, I wonder what it all means...is this it?   What is supposed to happen?  What role do I play in whatever is unfolding...or is there something unfolding? And most importantly, is all this on his mind too, or am I alone in this and just an idiot?

Fortunately, I now know that I am not just an idiot.  Unfortunately for both of us our story is filled with uncertainty, and the questions we have will only continue to persist and linger because neither of us knows if/when we will ever see each other again.  But, knowing what I think, and knowing what he's thinking, I have resolved that it HAS to happen, and we absolutely MUST see each other again, because to continue to go through life wondering these things would be hell on earth in my life.

Thankful Thursday Insomnia Version

HA!  I BEAT YOU MEAGHAN! :-P

I am thankful for:

1. It's almost the weekend

2. That I have found my calling in life and all the blessings that come with that! I LOVE teaching!

3. That I have 2 jobs for the summer!

4. That May 16th gets a little bit closer every day (ahem GRADUATION!)

5. That I've got friends that love me.

6. Reality checks...even when they hurt, it's always better to get a grip.

7. That somewhere out there...there's someone made for me...waiting for me...

8. The return of ARMY WIVES!!! (love that show...clearly)

9. That it's bedtime now..and I'll fall asleep counting my blessings (thanks Bing Crosby/Irving Berlin)

Thankful Thursday in a Timely Fashion

Yes folks...amazing I know...

I am thankful for:

1. My roommate that calls me every Thursday to remind me to be thankful!

2. Springtime and warm weather

3. Awesome friends that make life beautiful!

4. Websites like gmail, blogger, facebook, and fml that give my brain a break

5. The dollar bin area at Target! (I just bought a new adorable pink lunchbox for a dollar!)

6. Job prospects

7. The little things in life (and that includes all my little darlings at school that have truly made this the best student teaching experience anyone could ever ask for!)

OK, there you have it.  What are YOU thankful for?

Thankful Thursday (on time!!!)

Hmmm...what am I thankful for this week????

Let's do an honesty box:
I'm thankful for
1. Spring break!
2. Glorious weather!
3. The beach!
4. Amazingly awesome friends!
5. Friends that let me crash at their place!
6. The opportunity to work...and some potential future job opportunities.
7. That I don't actually have any sort of seasonal spring allergies unlike everybody else right now!
8. Tomorrow is Friday!
9. My health
10. Springtime and pretty flowers...

(Sorry this one's not exciting tonight...nothing deep or life-changing here...)

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

So lately I've been feeling all sorts of low.  Creeping, nagging feelings of loneliness and inadequacy have really taken my heart and mind captive, and I have just been a hot mess for a while now (and not in a good way).  So last night I was FINALLY out with some friends having a good ol' time at one of the local joints we like to frequent.  I had been mildly successful in numbing myself and drowning out the hurt for the evening when we walked back to our original starting point and inside on one of the coffee tables was a Bible study book called "What to Do With Your Wait."  Now...this book has been sitting on this coffee table basically all year...and I had never really taken two seconds to read the cover...but last night...I wasn't going anywhere for a little while...so I picked it up and settled on the couch for a bit, and suddenly....WHABAM...life-changing began.  I have now "borrowed" the text, and will return it whenever I'm finished, but it was certainly what the doctor ordered for my life...or at least what the Lord did, which I am pretty sure is better.  But I know that at the core of my lowness and loneliness right now is this unbearable and intolerable wait....waiting for a mate...waiting for a job....waiting for the chance to get out on my own and start my life (you know the life that doesn't depend on your parents for everything...) and this waiting game has become a miserable experience and existence for me, and I have succumbed to many of the whispered lies that have poked and prodded at me for a long time.  As of late, I know I have really hit a new low...and so this word could not have come at a better time....and funny how it would strategically plop itself into my life on one of those nights...and right at the beginning of my spring break too....so I can actually take the time to do it...huh...

Anyway...just thought I'd share. Now I'm off to start my day. Cheers.